he's so much more vocal in his dreams

good morning ~

(click the link / texas wildflowers to listen)

My Big Breakhe's so much more vocal in his dreams

today’s track started off with a loop I recorded on my friend’s mini drum set while I was dog-sitting in Austin :)

I’m playing a show tomorrow night in ridgewood I’ve really been looking forward to - mentioned it here before, but tj douglas is someone with a really profound perspective on life, living, and dying. their record is beautiful and I would love to celebrate all of that with you.

Tickets are here.

Here’s the flyer:

How are you everywhere is a question that people ask me a lot lately. It's true, we've been blessed and cursed in equal measure by obligation, opportunity, and timing this year and I have indeed travelled a lot. Art openings, gigs, weddings, or some combination of the three, visas stamped in our passports, abundant fun. All while trying to maintain obligations both to my own work and the work that pays me - I've sent many emails from free wifi networks in hotel lobbies and airports, and then it seems there's always some kind of herculean production needing my corporeal presence (the schlep feels like a form of penance). With so much behind and so much before and so much at hand, though, the truth is that I'm rarely anywhere. The place I am most often is my inbox. At this moment I'd like instead to bolt myself permanently to the back porch. Watch tree TV for a while.

In Texas I arrived with two hours of sleep to my name and a powerful yearning for scorched meat and mineral water in a glass bottle. My first thought on leaving the serene HVAC of the airport and feeling the wet oven blast of weather nipping at my long pants was oh no, something has gone wrong. Soon I was up on a ladder, piping the sounds I had been sculpting for the last couple of weeks into the room of the historic building. The cables took some wiggling, the shelving was smaller than we thought, but with a gasp everything squeezed into place and started unfurling. Lovely, the air wiggling and the sculptures vibrating in their amassing of color, the wallpaper the sleeper hit detail of the show, Gracelee, Thor, and I made something really beautiful. The only thing was that the speakers and the cables looked kind of hideous and insane and really drew any the eye, so then all four of us were in a Target in downtown Austin trying to find the best solution for some kind of improvised modesty skirt. It's true that all Targets are pretty much the same throughout America but there was one notable exception in Texas - their loss prevention officer was holding an enormous fucking gun. Curtains acquired we ironed them on a piece of cardboard and velcro'd them to the ceiling. The speakers rumbled behind the fabric and the sculptures continued acquiring their power. Working at a fancy hotel as we were, we then enjoyed the bliss of the rooftop pool. Later some friends met us for dinner at a cool restaurant nearby that was hilariously loud, conversation almost impossible, but the server and his little mullet kept bringing us complimentary dessert, five stars.

Sleeping late and swimming in the heat, two smoothies a day, a Nespresso machine in the room, these are the delights. Felt like three or four summers at once. The gallery opening presented us with pleasant mingling, waves of sweeties arrived and were hugged in a room too small to hold the art, the sound, and the people. We enjoyed chatting too much, you couldn't hear the music over the fraternization. That's okay - it could be felt, and every once in a while one of Thor's recordings of grackles would bust on through. Each time I would wonder if one had gotten inside. After the opening we were invited to dine at the hotel's rooftop restaurant - a very strange experience indeed - but Gracelee and our two friends and I were given a reserved place to sit on the balcony overlooking all of Austin's sprawl and rapidly expanding skyline and we stayed there talking shit for hours. We were the last to leave.

Thor and I had a show to play on Monday and our obligations downtown were over so I quickly pivoted from hotel I could never afford otherwise to looking after my buddy's dog. A stoic, shedding fellow, he barely lifted his head from the couch he was napping in when I awkwardly busted in the door. But soon he had two paws in my lap. His eyes always looked to me like he was trying to tell me something, but I could never figure out what that was exactly. When the pavement finally cooled we walked and walked. I fell asleep early and woke disoriented to the sounds of Enzo barking in his sleep - he's so much more vocal in his dreams.

On my last day in town I woke up early to sneak into Barton Springs for free, my third day in that creek in a row. My friend invited me to join her queer swimming group that morning and they were so sweet to me, they let me use their googles to look at the plants and the fish beneath the surface, they swayed. That afternoon I sent emails from home and I struggle now to find much value in relaying that to you. I drove my friend's car over to the gig, windows down. Really great night of music - the space is both relaxed and very professional-seeming, sounds nice, people really sit their asses down and listen. One set in particular involved dozens of empty kitty litter containers filled with rocks artfully knocked against each other and the floor. Thor and I had never once played together and we barely had a plan for our set beyond the tracks I had compiled, so perhaps it is no surprise that we were immediately besotted by technical issues: loud crackling, playback turning off, etc. In the moment I felt very bad about it - so much effort went into getting onto this stage, was it somewhat wasted? We arrived at steadier footing and our sounds continued swirling, I could feel the heat of the projector's visuals on my face. We brought it down to silence and hugged once people started clapping. It was fine, really beautiful actually, despite my own perspective. Funny to have videos posted online confirm this, I showed them to Enzo before locking him in the house.

But what about you? Are you accepting of the things that go wrong? Are you allowing yourself to fully arrive and be somewhere? When was the last time you went swimming?