Hi - I have a record coming out at the end of this month called CICADA WAVES. It’ll be out on April 30th. Until then I’m using this space to share the video for each song and different written takes on aspects of the album ~ hope you enjoy.
This video is a compilation of the various tremendous swarms of crows that totally dominated the sky above my town this past winter. Today’s writing is verbatim selections from my journal from the weeks I recorded this album:
Dreamt of wealth and horses last night.
Sitting at a slanted desk in a large open room - something like a dance studio. I'm facing a window through which I can see an enormous wall of kudzu. So many places defined by people, plants, and animals that came and thrived unexpectedly. Quiet here, though the cicadas are endless. I ride waves of them each night, uncannily similar to the sound of waves hitting the hull as I slept in my bunk onboard the sailing ship all those years ago.
I am feeling bereft of time already. Time to do what? For me right now most importantly it is time to be away.
True dedication to something might make you look ridiculous. I've been that person many times and hope to grow into that person again.
I wrap my arms around you
There's less of you today
And I wanted to say goodbye
Grab my wrist behind your back
I loved you all
Before the fall, I did
You'll walk away
I stood firm at the edge of it
Sun on my back
Train on the track to the sea
Held up by a thousand arms
And in their palms
An empty psalm, a rhyme
I'll walk away
Dreamed last night that I unexpectedly received a large sum of money in my bank account.
Unfortunately I still love performing and don't think I'll ever get away from it. Nothing quite like singing to a room and feeling the electricity in the air changing. I want nothing more than to tour once again. If anything, my time here is showing me how bad that desire really is - seeing a bit of the world and being allowed to do my work, I can really extremely feel the desire to hug new people and sing in new rooms. For the first time in forever I feel like I've got something stuck down in me, a thought that needs to get out out, work to do. Really on fire again.
More nested dreams. Dreamed that I dreamed.
Very dead today. Woke up at 5am to see the sunrise and then hiked for hours in the afternoon. Steep terrain and scarily unmarked trails coming down but got that great feeling of having cheated death when I emerged. Feeling tremendously "well," even if a bit lonely.
Dreamed of Matt Evans last night - I called him on the phone to talk about his latest project. Dream also involved me needing to drive to Queens for lightbulbs. Ended up at a 70s-type fast food drive-thru that was confusingly right next door to a knockoff, each had signs accusing the other of being crooks. I got confused in the drive-thru and almost ran somebody over, so I got out and led the truck as if a horse. I ordered the "most popular" thing but when I got my receipt it was completely blank. Eventually I got called a troublemaker and was thrown out!
Never laughed harder in my life than when we're trying to go to sleep at night. We met in the hardest year of my life but living with you made it the happiest, too. One day we'll dance again together, maybe a postponed wedding. Or maybe Max will come DJ a party at our house next year.
You're nice to me
Funny and free
A good friend is hard to find
But loving you is easy
I knew you loved me when you called to say you were mad. We talked for two hours, I walked around the Charlottesville mall. When was the last time we sang together? I loved sharing a microphone with you or getting stoned and listening to the cat purr through a delay pedal. The last time I saw you you were giving me a ride home and we told each other I love you. I'm so glad we said that to each other.
You were nice to me
Soft as the breeze
A good friend is hard to find
But losing you was harder
Two years on and I still use the birthday card you gave me as a bookmark. I think of you every time I open up a paperback. It makes the book worth reading. It makes the work worth doing.
Dreamed that I was watching a zydeco-type band play on the subway in NYC, something about well if we can't play in venues anymore we'll play where the people are. After a couple of stops Yo La Tengo got on!
Doing okay. Song on the previous page really wrung it out of me. But in a good way. I feel ready to start my life up again.
Dream started off with me and my Dad driving somewhere together, stopping at a gas station for lunch. On the road a good while later I realize that no one is steering, so I do my best to guide the minivan from the rear seat but end up going the wrong way on the freeway.
Last full day in Georgia! Dreamed last night about having issues with the New York State unemployment website...couldn't find the right page, couldn't get ahold of anybody, for some reason they need my sister to testify (???). Turns out my zip code was wrong, something about federal versus state zip codes. Old army man was yelling at me and threatening to send me to jail.
Crying for two days straight is a perfectly acceptable response to the year we've had.
I feel quite relaxed and my thinking is clear, which is something I haven't been able to say for months.
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good morning ~
hope you enjoyed the ominous crow murmurations and my income anxiety dreams from last summer.
fun thing: we’re doing a tiny, secret release show for this record at a beautiful and historic location in western Massachusetts on May 1st. If you’d like to attend, please drop me a message and I’ll send you the ticket info.
I’m also going to be doing a set on the Lot radio this coming Tuesday at 8am EST - I’ll be playing the entire CICADA WAVES record interspersed with new age and minimal jammers from my tape collection.
This record comes out in just over a week! Wild to me. Thanks for riding with it.
But what about you? What are you writing down each morning? Who is driving the minivan?